“Man can never be a woman’s equal in the spirit of selfless service with which nature has endowed her.”
This is often how I feel. My mom is the most selfless person I know. As it is Mother’s Day, and I am about 700 miles away, the very least I could do was dedicate this blog post to her. I think when we truly love someone we want to tell the whole world, so this is my tribute to my Mom.
Here is a picture of my parents and I after one of my high school football games. My mom was always there no matter what. Here are some examples of her selflessness which I hold dear to my heart.
She would do anything to make sure that my life ran smoothly. I can’t even count how many times she stayed up into the AM helping me type reports or papers (Don’t worry I have since learned to type). On a couple of occasions I remember forgetting the paper we had stayed up so late working on the night before and so she would drive to school and make sure I got it in between classes. Some of you may be thinking how did someone so irresponsible make it to dental school? The answer is simple, a selfless mother.
“The most difficult thing for us seems to be to give of ourselves, to do away with selfishness. If we really love someone, nothing is a hardship.” —Pres. N. Eldon Tanner.
I am sure if you ask my Mom she will say that stuff was no big deal. To me it meant everything.
She knew my basketball games were a big deal to me so on game day she would give me extra special treatment. Before I could drive she would take me to McDonald’s to get two sausage McMuffins with egg, two apple pies and a large Hi-C orange drink every game day. When I realized that probably wasn’t the most healthy pre game breakfast she started waking up long before I crawled out of bed and made me homemade bread with honey. It became a tradition. My mom, perhaps unintentionally, was teaching me a great lesson with that homemade bread. Christ is the bread of life. He laid down his life for us in the ultimate expression of love. By giving her Christlike example she was teaching me who the Savior really is.
One of my most cherished memories is how my tender mother woke me up for seminary. She knew that early morning seminary was not easy for me and so instead of yelling at me or throwing water on me she would slowly creep into my room and start to put lotion on my feet. It was a sacred and selfless act that always worked. How could I not get up after such an expression of love? I knew my mom knew what was best for me and that was to be at seminary every morning.
It reminds me a similar sacred and selfless act performed by the Savior on his disciples…
The washing of the feet is actually a sacred ordinance of the gospel and is the ultimate expression of selflessness. By waking me up with lotion on my feet my mom was teaching me what Christlike love is all about through her example. In everything she does she exemplifies Christ and the love he freely gives each one of us. I feel like I have an intimate relationship with the Savior today and I can feel his love because I first felt it from my mother.
While I was on my mission in Ecuador I got a postcard from my mom with this picture of the moon and angel Moroni on the front…
My mom went on to write, “Kent, this card makes me remember that we both see the same moon each night even being so far away and that we must always, ‘Look to God and Live (Alma 37:47).’ This work is true and will go forth boldly and nobly to fill the whole earth! You are doing your part!! Love, Mom.”
My mom knows that her greatest work will be to teach me where to turn for peace, comfort, love and guidance because she will not always be there right by my side.
2 Nephi 25:26 states, “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for the remission of their sins.”
When times get hard for me, or when I make mistakes or fall short I know that I can turn to my Savior for relief, love and peace no matter what. I know this because my Mother taught me to know him. By doing so she has put me on the path that leads to eternal life. After all John 17:3 says, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.” In this way my mother truly has given me the ultimate gift.
Becoming selfless is part of a life long journey to know the Savior and to love like he loves. I still have so much to learn. Sometimes it seems so far out of our reach so why should we strive for it???
“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him (Moroni 7:47).”
Preparing for the Mormon Bachelor has been opening my heart like I never thought it ever would. The structure of the show is set up for it to be all about me. I am “The Bachelor” and I get to go on 12 blind dates that the girls plan and pay for. I am in a very low risk situation which cannot possibly go wrong. Right??? Wrong.
If I let myself get caught up in the idea of who is good enough for ME, or who will have what I want, etc. I believe I will have failed at this bachelor experience miserably. I will be that selfish prideful guy that everyone loves to hate.
So if I really am on a journey to find true love then my heart needs to be in the right place. Love is not about what can YOU do for me…but what can I do for you. It is the Christ-centered love that my Mom taught me.
My mom is such a hopeless romantic (that’s where I get it from) and I know she is worried sick about this whole venture. She has always been so good about loving any girl I have ever brought home. I know she just wants me to be happy. One time she flew me to Mesa, AZ just so that I could see my 14-year-old EFY church camp crush one more time (group hang out and supervision of course). While her desire is for me to find love she also wants me to break the least amount of hearts possible along the way. She has taught me to be conscious of girls feelings. I remember one time she sat me down at lunch (a tradition of ours when I was in Utah) and she made me write down the names of every girls heart that I had broken. Luckily she looked at the list afterwards and was surprised it wasn’t as many as she thought. I don’t want to break hearts. I have cried the hardest when I have had to be the one to end the relationship.
Realistically it will only ever work out for eternity with one girl so I need to go in with the attitude that I will treat each girl with respect and really get to know them…if anything to learn from them. I will be one hundred percent honest with my feelings. I am not looking for someone with a laundry list of what I want in a future spouse on paper but someone who will be the easiest for me to love. I want my love for them to come naturally because of a genuine connection. I want to fall in love with their heart because that is what will last forever.
Lately I have really been trying to put myself in these girls shoes…It has been eye-opening. I have been talking to friends and family members to get a broader perspective. It is not an easy thing to sign up for a public show where you have to get in line with 12 other girls to go on a date. It is a lot to ask for a very low chance that it will actually work out.
For all the girls who applied which has been over 300 thank you I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and put yourself out there without really even knowing me. All that I can promise is that it will be a fun experience and that I will be as careful as I can with your feelings. When I asked my sister (18) if she would ever sign up to do something like this she said, “there is no way!”…Then I asked her but what if the boy was someone just like me (because she really does know me)…and that made her stop and think.
While I realize it is a huge sacrifice at the same time I am confident in what I have to offer. My heart is on the table and I am ready to give everything to one girl for the rest of my life. All of my heart is intact. There are not any feelings toward any ex girlfriends. I am not just dating for fun or to play 12 girls hearts. I have saved myself and my sacrifice-all type of love for when the time was right. Love is a choice and by signing up for this show I made that choice. The producer would not have picked me if I wasn’t ready. I promise that I will not stop here though with my heart, when I find someone easy to love and with who I have a genuine connection I will not let go. I will choose to love whoever it is with my whole heart everyday.
Love is about taking risks and selflessly giving until it hurts. I have been in a relationship before where I felt I put my whole heart into it, sacrificing and giving my all to make it work. Unfortunately the girl I was falling for had a choice to make between me and someone she had been in a comfortable relationship with for a couple of years. We both knew we had crazy potential and yet I was a risk. Our whole thing was that we agreed to meet each other half way. This was hard but I felt like I did. I wanted to commit and was committed to only her and then she couldn’t do the same and it ended in tragedy. As I look back on that experience I ask myself why did it not work and I think a big reason was our mentality. It’s not about meeting the other person just halfway. It is about meeting the other person the whole way, sacrificing self to do whatever it is that will make the other person the most happy. If we truly believe in love and want love we all need to be willing to meet the other person the whole way. That way if we fall a little bit short, which we inevitably will, there will be some overlap.
I am so grateful for what the Lord has been teaching me lately about selfless love. I feel closer to my Savior than ever before. I know that the Lord will guide me as I stay close to him. With my heart in the right place I know that the Lord will lead me to the right person…someone that I can cherish forever. I know that by selflessly loving my spouse one day I will experience true happiness.
“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.” —Anthony Robbins
Look at the pure joy on the faces of these selfless mothers!!!