My life has taken a very interesting turn…completely unexpected, yet for the best.
I was public and open about the beginning of my relationship with Heather…and so its only fair that I am just as public about moving on.
I came across this poem today by an unknown author which I think can give us all perspective on the relationships in our lives…
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are..
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant
Thank you for being a part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
…
I know today even better than when I met Heather that she was a gift from God to me at a time when I had all but given up hope in meeting someone special. No one has ever treated me with more kindness and understanding. Timing and distance issues put unnecessary stress on our relationship and it simply did not work out. We ended on good terms and it was mutual.
I learned so much about myself during my season with Heather. I learned that if I would simply live with more faith that Heavenly Father would perform miracles and tender mercies in my life (1 Nephi 1:20). Heather was one of those miracles. I had been without a relationship in over two years and living for fun and not faith yet here I was in a long distance relationship and fully committed after a week!
It took faith to make that leap. It felt so natural and so right. I knew whatever we had-was something special. Though things changed later on it doesn’t take away from the whole of what we had. Heather helped me remember who I really am at my core… and motivated me to want to return to my missionary and childhood innocence.
One valuable lesson of the many that I learned is that a simple kiss of affection goodnight is the best way to handle the question of physicality in a relationship. When you stay within the bounds of natural affection Heavenly Father blesses the relationship. Another valuable lesson I learned from Heather is about sacrifice. In order to have something great you have to be willing to put forth the effort. Both of us took time out of our busy schedules and spent a lot of money to make things work. We traveled to see each other and I put my studies to the side to make her a priority. We had some amazing experiences together. Any good thing takes effort and sacrifice to make it happen.
Sometimes Heavenly Father asks for the faith to commit to a relationship and other times he asks for the faith to move on, steadfast and single. My relationship with Heather required acts of faith in both directions.
It is hard to move on…especially alone. I want to share a recent experience that helped me keep perspective…
Last weekend I was frantic and not knowing what to do with myself. I was supposed to pick a new friend up in Mesa after she finished at a wedding reception to hang out with some other friends of mine in a big group.
So I pick her up and she gets in the car and explains to me that there is a situation. The bride had sliced her finger to the bone with a Cutco knife at the reception cutting the cake and had to go to the hospital. She wanted all of her closest friends and family members to come back to the reception so that she could have her wedding dance. So instead of leaving to meet up with my other friends I decided to be adventurous and stay at the reception.
So here I was with someone I had just met at the wedding reception of a couple I didn’t know !!! Not only that but it was with all of the closest friends and family after everyone else had left and then there was me! They were all dressed up and there I was in jeans and a turquoise hoodie! Wedding crasher wahooo. lol.
I felt so out-of-place but it turns out my friend made me feel comfortable. Little did I know I was there for a reason. As I watched the bride and groom dance to “their song” I kind of got emotional, and the spirit taught me a lesson. The couple was high school sweethearts and he was the only guy she had ever kissed. They both were so young yet so in love and fully committed. The bride got emotional saying that all the people who really mattered to her were right there in that circle… (and then there was me of course)…She was crying and so happy, totally overcome with emotion.
Before as a single LDS guy wrapped up in the complicated dating world I would have looked at that whole situation differently. I would have hated being at a wedding reception first of all after the end of a recent relationship… I would have scoffed at the couple’s happiness perhaps and said that they were ridiculous for getting married so young…no career, not much dating or life experience, fresh off of a mission, craziness!!!!
picture for comic relief…
Yet here I was now with a new-found perspective witnessing innocence and pure joy at its finest. I looked at the couple not with bitterness but admiration for their act of faith. The groom wasn’t the biggest guy on the planet physically but I looked up to him and his faith in that moment. What a stud!!! Worthy and committed to the woman of his dreams. He didn’t need to look for anyone else because he understood what he had with her and true love.
I left the wedding that night awestruck. The experience had a profound impact on me even though I don’t think my friend that I was with had any idea. I know that if we live by faith and are obedient to the commandments that we will all be able to obtain what this young couple has… true joy!!!!
Here is an Ensign article that I want to share which has really helped me…
May we all move forward with faith whatever our circumstances may be!
We are sending prayers your way that you will find the happiness that your desire. Two years of marriage have taught me that a lot is in the Lord’s timing. It took me till 29 to meet the man I married. I am so glad that I did not settle because I ended up with someone perfect for me. We serve in the temple together and do many of the things that are important to us both. My motto is be true to yourself. If you give up who you truly are for a relationship that cannot be a happy one. But if within that relationship you blossom and grow and become more than you ever thought possible, if that person adds to you and you to them, then it will likely be a happy one.
who is this?? it doesn’t show your name!!
Sorry. I was using my blog screen name. I did not mean to cause fear. I was trying to send a message of encouragement. Heather Johnson. Had some of the same classes and did study groups. Namely the LAS class with professor Grover and the Latin American Geography class.
Your posts really make me think, and analyze my past relationships. Some ended on good terms and some on not so good terms, but in each one I can truly say I’ve learned something from each one of the guys. Thanks for helping me remember that and put it all in perspective again!