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Blog Hiatus…Until We Meet Again

Posted by Kent on February 13, 2013

Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 comments

This post is simply to let everyone know that my blog writing is about to take a hiatus…

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth in Chirst.”

If this blog has helped you in any way, or comforted you…please share that comfort you have received with others.

There is a lot going on in my life right now and I need to simplify my life.

It was an awesome ride. I know in my heart everything I have written to be true…and out of the sincerity of my heart.

I hope that I will be able to continue blogging in the near future.

Love to all,

Kent

Dream On

Posted by Kent on January 11, 2013

Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: Eternity, family, Gospel, Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, LDS, Savior, The Book of Mormon, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 6 comments

2012 has come and gone… Looking back on my whirlwind of a year I can say that it was the most emotionally disheartening year of my life…

I can relate the past year to a family experience we had some years ago in Lake Tahoe. It was a dream of my Mothers to get the entire family to catch a hot air balloon ride. Lake Tahoe is like a little piece of heaven on earth and the view from a couple thousand feet in a hot air balloon would be breathtaking. Everyone in our family was super excited the day of the scheduled ride. We got to the site early in the morning only to find out there was too much wind to go up… We waited and waited and watched as they sent little black balloons into the air to test the wind. After hours of waiting they told us it was a not going to happen. My littlest brother Jared just started bawling. We all were devastated, leaving with crushed dreams.

In my own personal life I really built 2012 up to be my year…Things really didn’t go as planned. I had big dreams that were crushed in tragedy and I have found myself at the turn of this new year at an all time low…a rock bottom. I was riding so high with emotions on my sleeve and now I am like what in the world just happened? The hot air balloon did not sail.

I only blame myself for my situation and have had a serious reality check as to the way I have been living. There are still plenty of chinks in my armor. In the quiet moments the Spirit whispers what it is I need to fix and yet it is still difficult. It takes true strength and courage to take your deep rooted weaknesses and and stare them in the face and go to battle with them. More often than not you will fail…and the thought of failure is scary.

I ask myself over and over, then why even try? There are so many times where the world seems like it is crashing down on me and I have wanted to give up on my dreams… Maybe it would be easier to do it the worlds way? The lies are real and can take hold of your mind and heart if you let them. It is when you are weak and vulnerable and have a broken heart that Satan sends his onslaught of demons to take hold of you.

Yet God is mindful of you and loves a broken heart. A quiet voice enters your heart and you remember who you are. You need to start living according to principles which you know will bring you healing and happiness. To give up is to head straight for a dead end. “Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die (2 Nephi 28:7)” is the mentality. The worlds way is easier, the path is wide and there are many who are headed that direction.

2 Nephi 27:33 states, “And it came to pass that when Jesus had ended these sayings he said unto his disciples: Enter ye in at the strait gate; for strait is the gate, and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few there be that find it; but wide is the gate, and broad the way which leads to death, and many there be that travel therein, until the night cometh, wherein no man can work.”

There is so much emotional pain in this world which leads to people scrounging for the nearest and most easily accessible coping mechanism. Many of the problems in this world stem from a lack of love in intimate relationships… dysfunctional family relationships and failed marriages, failed dating relationships, broken friendships, etc. People don’t do bad things necessarily because they are bad people, mostly they are just looking for escape from pain…they are wounded souls who need comfort. All of the deep rooted problems are because as humans we hurt other humans who have tender hearts. After too much hurt this hearts turn cold as ice. People become monsters who do nothing but hurt and suck life out of the innocent and vulnerable. The Savior himself was taken advantage of and sent to the cross. In his perfect understanding he cried, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).”

I have been lucky that for the majority of my life I have been spared of personal emotional heartbreak. I had a storybook childhood and lived the dream at BYU traveling, playing volleyball and dating. Dental school and getting involved in serious relationships lately has been a real challenge for me. I am no longer seeing the world through rose colored glasses.

I naturally have an open heart to anyone who wants to share with me… and there is something about me where people can tell I am not judgmental and so they open up to me. I have felt the weight of the world though as people share their issues and it has weighed on my mind and heart. Selfishness, sin, corruption, dishonesty and deception are taking over our world. If you think about the state of the world, our nation and the future for our future children is downright depressing… I have met plenty of girls who are broken from the way guys have treated them in the past. Their hurt doesn’t allow them to have a normal and healthy relationship with a nice guy. As nice guys you suffer the consequences of what some jerk did before you…

I have struggled lately with the concept that nice guys finish last… I always seem to chase the wrong ones who leave me burnt and my heart hurting. Temptation enters my head, am I doing it all wrong? Should I become a man of the world in order to get what I want? These are lies from Satan that are rooted in cynicism… becoming over self critical and blaming yourself for everything is never healthy either…

“Criticism is the forerunner of divorce, the cultivator of rebellion, a catalyst that leads to failure. I am asking that we turn from the negative that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we speak of one another’s virtues more than we speak of one another’s faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my father would say: “Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve.””
Gordon B. Hinckley, Stand a Little Taller (Salt Lake City: Eagle Gate, 2001), 161.

I am usually full of faith, hope and dreams…everyone close to me knows this. Lately it has been difficult to maintain that attitude and I am tempted to give in to the negative. Yet I will not change that I am a dreamer. I want someone who appreciates this side of me and who can hold the same big dreams with me…not someone who tells me i’m wrong for thinking the way I do and to change.

During my BYU volleyball senior year, on the way to every volleyball game on the road our Assistant Coach Rob Neilson would throw on Aerosmith’s, “Dream On” on his Ipod as the last song before we pulled to the arena. The song is very appropriate for this time in my life…I want to share the lyrics…

Every time when I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn’t that the way
Everybody’s got the dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it’s everybody sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life
Is books written pages
Live and learn from fools and
From sages
You know it’s true, oh
All these things you do come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Dream on
Dream on
Dream on
Dream until your dreams come true

What really hit me as I pondered these lyrics is that everything we go through in life molds and shapes us into who we are. There will be ups and downs and good and bad happen to all of us…“The past is gone…Everyone has their dues in life to pay…You got to lose to know how to win.” Yet despite heartbreak, sadness and depression, it is our choice how to respond. Do we get stronger and more motivated or do we give in? Are we choosing to dream on?

When do we stop dreaming? We don’t until our dreams come true. Once they come true our dreams will change… Once a dreamer, always a dreamer.

While at home over break my family and I watched the old movie, “Romancing the Stone…” It is a classic with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. The basic theme is to never give up on Mr. Right coming into your life…an author named Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner) is living in New York City and has always dreamed of her cowboy showing up to rescue her…She goes to Colombia to help a friend in trouble and ends up on the most wild adventure of her life. Mr. Right does come along and she lives happily ever after. What if she had given up hope? So many around her told her she was silly and not in touch with reality. She was ready and preparing herself and she got her love story.

I think a lot of girls give up hope in men after dating or even marrying a sour one…This mentality is wrong and there are good men out there ready and willing to sweep a girl off her feet. I have always wanted to be that guy who sweeps his woman off her feet. I want to ride in on the white horse on a nice sandy beach where my damsel in distress is waiting. She will see me and run towards me and we will ride off into the sunset. Too much of a fairytale? I don’t think so…Your reality is whatever you choose it to be and your only confined by the walls you build yourself.

I feel like more often than not what has gone wrong in my story is that I ride in on my white horse and I see my damsel in distress but she is in the ocean drowning herself or getting eaten alive by sharks instead of waiting patiently for me or running towards me. You will have to excuse the analogy. Both people have to hold and want the same dream or it won’t happen.

My parents always give us kids a calendar for Christmas…mine is inspirational and the cover for January is a couple at the top of a mountain with the quote, “Defeat is not the worst of failures, not to have tried is the true failure…”

I thought long and hard about this on Christmas Eve. I do not want to be a failure. I will always try and will never be a quitter…its just not in my DNA. Engraven on my family crest are the words, “CONQUER or DIE.” I will keep trying until I conquer or I will die trying. I refuse to give up.

Even if you have given up on all faith, hope and dreams it is never too late to try. It’s not over until the fat lady sings… There is a quote on my wall in the bathroom that says, “everything will be ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end (unknown).”

The recent pop song from PINK has been on my mind lately…

Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone’s bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

You’ve gotta get up and try try try

Gotta get up and try try try

You gotta get up and try try try

When your heart is hurting and broken there is no way around the pain. You will bleed out, pass out and spend time in the hospital until you recover. If you try to escape the pain you will only make things worse. You will not be “ok” until you turn your heart over to the master surgeon, who is qualified in every complicated heart procedure known to man, he is the only one capable of fixing your heart. He then gives it back to you healed and stronger than ever before.

At this time in my life I have had to make the difficult decision to seek emotional healing through the Savior. The world wants you to run after false remedies that it claims are immediate however there is no quick fix. Too many of us ignore the Savior for days, months, years and lifetimes and we live in our broken, cynical, depressed state always wondering why the best things in life, the things we’ve always dreamed for, constantly slip through our fingers. Yet through all the darkness the light and hope of the Savior is ever shining, he is ever beckoning us to run into his open arms for comfort.

A couple days before Christmas my family and I went to a Christmas tree farm to get a tree. We drove around for almost an hour looking for a farm that still sold trees. We climbed up a hill together as a family and cut down our own. I am the oldest so I assumed the responsibility of putting the tree on my back and carrying the tree down the mountain by myself…I had a very intimate moment right then with my Savior. The tree was heavy and was weighing me down after about 20 yards…I still had about 200 to go to get the tree to the back of the truck. I realized in that moment, totally alone, sweat dripping from my head, that this is exactly what the Savior did for me. Unless we give our cares to him, we will carry our own burdens through this life. We must cast upon him all cares, no matter what it is… Not just obvious sin but depression, regret, inadequacy, heartbreak, fear, jealousy, tragedy, abuse, and any and every struggle known to man. He carried the cross for us so that we don’t have to do the same. We must seek him in every thought.

Matthew 11:29-30 says it best, “Take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

At the beginning of this new year let us all remember the Savior is the only answer, and make a determination to cast all our cares upon him…He is the one who will give us hope to keep dreaming. He turned water to wine, he calmed the seas and even raised a man from the dead…He himself died and was resurrected three days later. Is there any doubt then that he who has all power can make our fondest dreams come true if we just allow him to?

The Book of Mormon prophet Alma reminds us of the Savior, “And now, my son, I have told you this that ye may learn wisdom, that ye may learn of me that there is no other way or means whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ. Behold, he is the life and the light of the world. Behold, he is the word of truth and righteousness (Alma 38:9).”

I know that the perfect day will come when there is finally no wind, and the hot air balloon will be able to lift off over Lake Tahoe uninhibited. The Lord controls the wind. He knows the desires of hearts and our fondest dreams. If we turn our lives to him we can have all we have ever wanted and more we did not even imagine possible. Your future is only as bright as your hope in Christ.

WHO AM I?

Posted by Kent on December 3, 2012

Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 comments

Growing up I had two beautiful golden labs. We had a trampoline in my backyard and after a while of playing with my dogs I realized they were terrified of the trampoline. Dogs are colorblind and so to them the trampoline appeared as a big black hole. Little did they know the trampoline wasn’t a hole but a material that could support them. I physically had to pick my dogs up and carry them onto the trampoline repeatedly until they were comfortable with the idea of walking on the trampoline. Because of a difference in perception, my dogs were extremely fearful.

PERCEPTION is a powerful force in our world but it is NOT reality. Consequently then, SELF-PERCEPTION becomes one of the most powerful forces in our personal lives for good or for bad. It is all within your own control.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change” Dr. Wayne Dyer

Is your own self-perception a pessimistic or an idealistic picture? What is the reality and truth about what is inside of you? I see nothing wrong with seeing yourself as your ideal self because those ideals are inside of you waiting to come out. Inside your core is your best self screaming to be released. You have to see yourself as your best self before you can become your best self so you might as well assume that it is going to happen.

If you do not know who you are then looking in the mirror can become a very frightful experience. Why?

Because what men and women fear most is the thought of the unknown. Take a moment to think about the truth of this statement. Doing something we have never done before is always a little nerve-racking no matter what it is. Going to a foreign country where we don’t know the people or language could also be daunting. A parent may worry about a child who is away doing their own thing more than if they still live at home…One of my worst nightmares is to be dropt off and left alone in the middle of the ocean without any land in sight. Which way do you swim? Will a huge whale or shark come up underneath me and eat me? Will huge waves swell and drown me? The endless possibilities of what could happen are enough to make anyone shutter. When you don’t know yourself or where you are headed this same fear of the unknown becomes some peoples living reality each day when they look themselves in the mirror. They don’t even know the person staring back at them.

Fear creeps into every other aspect of our lives because you don’t even trust yourself. This can be a rock-bottom eye opening and life changing experience. Reminds me of the lyrics to Michael Jackson’s hit 80s song, “Man in the Mirror..”

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

The quest for self discovery is not an easy one. There are people around us who want to tell us who we are and what we stand for. If you have been told by enough people and enough times that you are this or that then you may actually start to believe it and fit into that picture that everyone else has painted for you.

It takes real courage to discover who you really are and stay true to that core in today’s world. Real courage exists only where fear is also existing…without fear there would be no courage. When you are asking yourself, Who am I? It is an open-ended question and can be very scary. Some choose to turn outward to the world, media, friends, family even and other people to tell them who to be. There is a problem with this approach because others do not know you like you do. They have not lived your life. Their ideas of who you should be are always changing and there is no real stability. It is all from their point of view which is jaded at a distorted angle because it is not your same view. A person loses self-identity as they bounce from person to person in relationships, job to job without real meaning, or from one latest fad to another trying to fit in and be accepted by the world. These roads all lead to unhappiness because you will be following a false self fabricated by those around you.

The road less traveled is by those who decide to turn inward to their own core and divine soul for identity. It is to recognize your SACRED SELF. You understand that your spirit has existed for a really long time…in fact, even before this life it lived with God and Jesus Christ. So it is God and Jesus Christ who know you the best and have been with you forever. After all, God is the Father of your spirit. You are a child of God. He wants you in this life to discover your seeds of divinity and to live in alignment with his purpose for you so that you can return to live with him again. Romans 8:16-17 reinforces this idea, “

“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”

Jesus Christ as the first-born of the Father is your older brother and also knows you better than yourself because he has been there from the beginning He chose to suffer and to experience everything you would ever experience and beyond so that he would know how to comfort you in this life.

Alma 7:11 says, “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

We find our true selves as we follow his example. He wants you to become like him and through him to find God. We will be happy because we will be blessed with family, with abundance of life and love and happiness.

Self-discovery is a lifetime process. As a child your experience and awareness is very limited and so you rely mainly upon the ides of your parents and siblings. If the message communicated during these early years is negative life becomes exponentially difficult for the child. During the early years the child is like a sponge and his personality will be shaped for the future.

As you grow older and experience more of life you begin to have experiences which further reveal and shape your character. You discover your personality and your talents and this should lead you to your life’s purpose. The purpose should be in alignment with Gods purposes to bring about maximum happiness. Many get confused about their purpose, God would never want you to do or be anything that would harm others.

People are extremely complicated. Many choose to put forth a shell that is not exactly a true manifestation of who they are as a defense mechanism. They may not be ok with who they are and so they are distracting others from what is really at their core or in their heart. They are afraid people might not love them or accept them if they out forth their true selves.

I love to people watch. Airports, big cities, amusement parks and grocery stores are prime locations. I used to say that I wished each person I saw had a visible label above their heads saying where they are from, and what they do for a living. I think it would just make people watching more interesting.

But then again does the place where your from or your occupation truly define who you are? Your first name is not even a true reflection of yourself because it was given to you. I wonder what everyone’s names would be if they could name themselves. Metta World Peace, formerly Ron Artest, a forward for the LA Lakers NBA team doesn’t leave us to wonder in his case. So who are we really?

Isn’t it a wonder how you may think you really know someone until they do something that completely throws you off. Sometimes it is your closest loved ones…It is scary to think that you may spend a great portion of your life with someone and still not get to know everything about that person. People are so complicated that it may take an eternity to get to know someone, we have existed as spirits for a very long time before this life and we will exist afterwards forever. How ridiculous is it then that we pass immediate judgements on someone based on a first impression or a short period of time through a limited perspective? You don’t really ever know someone do you?

So when we are choosing someone to marry or to unite ourselves with for eternity we would be wise to choose someone who we would like to get to know forever. This is pretty daunting but it is probably someone who you meet that your soul connects with…a heart to heart bond that seems to be out of this world. Maybe it “seems” out of this world because it really is. It is fun to think that you may have known some of the people on this earth who you meet before you actually came to earth. When your hearts unite in marriage your two hearts then become one and you evolve and create a family unit together. You discover each other at a very deep level that will only grow and deepen throughout time and eternity. Pretty miraculous thought! It is a miracle anytime two people in all their complications decide they want to get married and get to know each other forever. This does not just happen there must be a divine design behind it.

Some people are blessed with the gift and the ability to see ourselves in a light that we cannot see through our own blocked self perception. These people are on the outside of us and have a different perspective yes; but they lift and inspire us to be our best selves. I am sure we have all had people like this come into our lives. The lyrics from a recent Pop song, “Let me love you…until you learn to love yourself..” is what these people are begging us. These people are angels who will help us get to where we want to be. We can choose to accept and believe what they say or reject them and stay where we are. God is also this way…He sees all of his children to their full potential. He loves us unconditionally and wants us to one day have everything he has.

So are we really ok with the man or woman in the mirror? Do you know who you really are? Who should you be listening to for help? Realize that it is a process but you deserve to have some inner peace to know that you are on the right course. You should do serious soul-searching and work on your relationship with God and Jesus Christ to better know yourself.

To finish up this blog post I thought it would be fun to share a little bit about who I am, both for your benefit and mine. I want those to read to feel like they know me as a friend and confidant. I also want to make a self proclamation to better solidify my own self perception. I am going to keep it positive and simply try to tell a story. Please don’t mistake me sharing my life for any kind of self-boasting or lifting myself above others.

Going home for the holidays is often a sweet reminder about who we really are. Especially as an older single adult going home is priceless because it allows you to remember your roots and interact with those you love. I always feel peace and love and security when I go home. It is a refuge from the world.

My name is Kent Allen Tuttle, born on May 21st in Provo, UT. I’m 27 years old and the oldest of 5 siblings… to understand myself better it helps to know where I come from. My middle name was given to me because of Grandpa Allen H Tuttle. he, along with my Dad is my hero. He was an army general, a mayor and a school principal and a natural-born leader. He served three LDS missions and served in the Oakland temple presidency. My Dad is a Dentist and has been a leader in the community as a HS volleyball coach, Bishop and Singles Ward Bishop. My mothers heritage (one of 8 kids) goes back all the way to the pioneers. She is one of 8 kids who all are married in the temple and all graduated BYU! What are the odds of that? I am blessed to be born of good parents who gave me a near perfect childhood and sacrificed tirelessly so that i could have whatever I wanted and needed. I want to give my children the same gift one day.

My childhood is full of fond memories as the oldest being a ring leader and babysitter. One time I remember my parents were away at the Oakland temple. I was home alone babysitting and they told me to never answer the phone and to just let the message machine get it and then pick up if it was them. The phone rang and rang and no one left a message. Looking back it was like a real life scene from the movie, “When a Stranger Calls.” It was dark and rainy and the phone just kept ringing. Then all of a sudden the message machine went on and a man’s voice on the other end started talking, “KENT. I KNOW YOURE HOME. PICK UP THE PHONE I KNOW YOURE HOME I CAN SEE YOU.” I freaked out but tried to keep calm and gathered my siblings on the couch and prepared for the worst. This was before cell phones so I had to wait for my parents to get home. Turns out the an’s voice was my Dad’s dental school buddy who knew I was home babysitting because he had talked to my Dad earlier that day and he just wanted to mess with me. That one experience gave me some phone trauma for a while after that and to this day I don’t really like the phone for that reason.

My high school days were extremely busy. I was getting good grades and taking AP classes all while playing 3 different sports (Basketball, Volleyball and Football). I survived the glory days without much trouble simply because I had an obedient spirit. I liked to do what my parents said because it generally meant both them and I were happy. I was voted in the A-Z list amongst senior peers as N for Never Naughty. I was social and go to parties but I never drank or got into drugs like most of the kids. One time I remember trying to bleach my hair even though my Mom told me not to do it. I thought I looked fine but because my Mom was so upset by my disobedience I dyed it back dark two days later. What ended up happening was my hair had a greenish hue because of the dye and I was made fun of for weeks.

I went on some recruiting trips for football but I knew the best atmosphere that would lead me to serving a mission was going to be BYU. They weren’t recruiting me for football so I chose to be an invited walk-on with the volleyball team. At BYU in 2004 I ended up being able to be apart of the Men’s Volleyball National Championship team. On my own at BYU I decided to stay a good kid and I remember praying on my knees alone in my dorm if the Book of Mormon was really true. I got a head to toe flash of peace and comfort and warmth with an answer permeating my mind, “Duh you have known your whole life…”

I hit my mission on the ground running. I loved the MTC and Ecuador became my piece of heaven. I was stretched beyond belief to give up 2 whole years of my life in service to God and to learn the spanish language but I did it with his help and to this day I can say this is my greatest accomplishment. I saw lives change and miracles happen on a daily basis. I vowed to never lose sight of the true meaning of life through selfless service in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

When I got home things weren’t so easy. I became very sick from the parasites I had lived with in Ecuador and for about a year I could not figure out what was wrong. I quit volleyball and got a job at the MTC but had to stop that when my Chemistry classes at BYU were getting the best of me. I cried a lot that year. The transition from mission life to normal life was very difficult for me. A year later I tried to pursue basketball but I fractured my ankle 1 day before the BYU basketball tryout and couldn’t participate. Everyone told me I was going to make it and now that dream was gone.

Miraculously my ankle healed quickly and I was invited by a friend to play intramural volleyball about 2 months later. The assistant coach for the Men’s volleyball team was playing with us and put me at opposite, a position I have never played before. I dominated the game playing beside myself. The assistant coach approached me afterwards and wondered why I was not on his team! He asked me if i was interested and I said sure…the head coach said ok and so even after volleyball tryouts were over I got back on the team. I earned a traveling spot that very same year and I was able to play more years after and gain a scholarship! To me this was simply a miracle and part of Gods plan for me.

Long story short I was taking pre-dental classes and trying to get accepted while playing volleyball. My senior year I dealt with a lot of rejection…a girl who I loved had been leading me on, because of politics I lost my starting position in volleyball and then after 4 dental school interviews not one school accepted me. I was at a low point. I called my Dad and told him that after I graduated I was going to try to play professional basketball. Saying he was simply not happy is an understatement.

During the next year I bettered my application by retaking the entrance exam and going on a dental humanitarian mission to Peru and Colombia. I ended up getting to play basketball professionally in Austria and then drafted in the 8th round of the NBA D-League by the Utah Flash. The head coach took me to China for a month on a tour team the next summer before I was to start dental school. I ended up getting sent home from Austria at just the right time to be in the US in January to get interviewed and accepted at two different dental schools. I was devastated when I was let go from the team in Austria and I bawled my eyes out. Little did I know that right around the corner was one of the greatest blessings of my life. I found out I was accepted to both dental schools on the very same day I will never forget that. I had to say no to basketball even though a career was looking more and more promising. It was a hard decision. I decided that dental school was the better long-term choice to give me a chance to have a stable career and marriage and family.

Since then I have been on the dental school grind here at Midwestern University in Arizona. I have accepted my life as a dental student yet I have many other passions I continue to pursue on the side. I love to read and write, I still play basketball and volleyball, and I almost went on a Mormon dating reality show. I was an assistant coach for a local girls varsity volleyball team had so much fun doing that after school and on the weekends. I went skydiving over Thanksgiving break just for fun. I love to live at a high-speed and high intensity. I am a passionate person and I give my all to whatever I am involved in. I try to be a loyal son, brother, Uncle and friend.

Through all of the ups and downs my testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ and of his church has never wavered. It has been my constant source of truth and light and peace and comfort. I have made plenty of mistakes, especially in dating relationships but I am resilient and I know that the most important thing is to pick yourself back up whenever you fall.

My life goal is to get married and have a gospel centered family that is capable of helping others. I want to be established enough with my own practice and possible businesses that I am able to serve in the church and travel to Latin America or other parts of the world to help those in need. I want to be able to bring my family along to sight see and share in the rewarding experiences service brings. I know my future is only as bright as my hope. I am a dreamer and I strive to live by ideals. I believe in miracles if we are obedient and look to God daily. I will never give up. I know that I am a child of God and that he is counting on me to be a leader and to lift others during this troubled time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and get to know me better. Realize that I left out a lot of the ugly details of my life and I am far from a perfect human being. I am still a work in progress. At 27 I have had my fair share of Bishop interviews, discouragement and feelings of hopelessness. Satan works hard to steer me off course but I know that I have access to power far greater than any he can present.

I encourage you to write your own self-declaration and to continue on the journey of self discovery. It will only bring more peace and happiness to your life and give you the inner strength you need to help others and change the world around you! Please leave comments here or contact me directly… tuttle.kent@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and remember to share with friends!

RelationSHIPS and Gender roles

Posted by Kent on November 14, 2012

Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: family, gender roles, Jesus Christ, kent tuttle, Mitt Romney, Mormon, relationships, ships, the bible, The Book of Mormon, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 6 comments

Lately I have had a lot of time to think about relationSHIPs. This is another long post so bear with me.

I emphasized the SHIP part of the word because a relationSHIP is kind of like a SHIP at sea. Two people decide to jump on board and they start on a journey together that is always moving and changing. Outside factors influence the relationship, the wind and storms, waves and currents… the ship is fragile. Heading out on the open sea can be daunting.

Your ship can wreck at anytime unless you are careful. Together you must be able to navigate the hazards of the sea and steer the ship in the right direction. It is essential that you and your partner agree on the final destination and how you want to get there. Working together is the only way your ship will stay intact…roles in the relationship should be clearly defined so that each of you will know exactly how to keep the ship moving in the right direction. Each partner should have confidence in themselves and where they want the ship to go. Any inner conflict or conflict between partners will lead to disaster.

Having a serious relationship fall apart recently has given me a lot of time to learn and grow. I have had an enormous amount of time for self reflection…to set goals to improve and become a better man. If we don’t choose to learn from our failed relationships then what was the point? Only one relationship will ever end in happily ever after so we might as well choose to learn. Perhaps we are in a cycle of failed relationships for a reason and that reason is most often YOU. Sure you can blame others all you want…some do it their entire lives and they never own up to personal change. I believe relationships are sacred and that if you seek enlightenment from them, they can be the best way for us to recognize our weaknesses and see what we need to change.

I want to share personal insights I have gained through this time…first I will share what I have learned about myself and then what I have learned about gender roles in relationships in general.

A good friend of mine who was married for 6 years and then went through a nasty divorce recommended a book to me when I was going through my break up. It’s called “Making the Shift” by Dr. Wayne Dyer. The concepts helped him achieve inner peace and to not let the actions of another person (his ex) affect his happiness. I downloaded the book on audiobooks and started listening right away. I can’t possibly go into everything he helped me see about myself and the world but the approach of the book is to find and accept your divine self.

We are all born with the seeds of divinity within each of us…but the world convinces us to follow an EGO driven life. The EGO is fueled through competition to get ahead, to get more money, more material possessions and more power and control over others. The EGO centered person is selfish and seeks to control or manipulate others. After awhile of following this EGO what we end up with is a FALSE SELF. We wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and we are not happy. We are at conflict with ourselves, our relationship partner, our family, and the entire world really. We have strayed from our divine purpose and we scare even ourselves. If you think of life as a clock…we start out at the 12 and then we fall to the 6…we are the furthest away from home and this is a rock bottom which is different for everyone. “Making the Shift” is all about going from 6 back to 12 o’clock by re discovering who we are…a shift from the EGO driven self to the GOD centered life and purpose.

The way to make the shift is to change the way you see yourself. This starts with controlling your thoughts. Thoughts make you what you become. In order to make a shift you have to spend quiet time contemplating with thoughts that match your true divine self…your original self. We all have God within us…the answer to our problems is not outside ourselves in the ever-changing world but already within us. We simply have to open a door inward to our soul and reconnect with the God within us.

A friend of mind challenged me to a 21 day meditation program recently. For me this has been the perfect opportunity to spend quiet time contemplating who I really am. It’s a little hippie sure but we would all be better off to embrace a little bit of the hippie within us. Some of the most successful people practice meditation regularly. I have made it through one week of meditation, a 15 minute time commitment before bed or right when I wake up and I feel a huge difference in my life already. The power is within me to change whatever I want to change about myself. I can feel more of a clarity in my life and its cleaning out my subconscious that has had way too much of the EGO shoved into it. I would rather be a host to God than a hostage to my EGO.

You can eventually reprogram your subconscious mind to make your deepest wishes come true. When you block out all your senses and tell yourself you already are what you want to be then you are on your way. You start to ASSUME THE FEELING OF THE WISH FULFILLED. Whatever you want to be, just start acting and assuming you already are that person. I have a friend who used to say “even though I’m single I’m going to start acting like the married me”… When he would make choices he would ask himself if the married version of himself would do that…I saw an amazing transformation in him and he met and married the love of his life…his wish was fulfilled because he assumed it first.

Even when you have made bad mistakes…the good and potential is still within you to become what you want. A friend of mine shared this quote with me during an extremely difficult time…

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

We must be true to the heroic heart we have all been given and chose to get up when we fall. We must be ever seeking and striving to find our true self once again. After all we are only confined by the walls we have built ourselves.

This is not saying that we can all be whatever we want to be if we simply think it. We can’t all be pro football players or concert pianists or the president of the United States…because this is not the true and natural self for most people. Each of us is born with certain talents and abilities…it is this passion and talent within each of us that we need to tap into and expound. We cannot afford to be fighting against this true self or try to be something we are not. Duality and inner conflict inhibit progression. Matthew 6:24 says,

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon.

The only way you can be properly aligned with your true self is to live your life according to the 4 cardinal virtues… kindness, honesty, service and reverence for all of life… When you are aligned with these virtues you are tapped into the spiritual realm of your own being then the right things and people will come into your life. You will start to live and operate on a higher plane. You will see clearly and have clear direction to fulfill your deepest purpose in life.

For my personal return home it has been a return to the innocent kid I was growing up or right after my mission…refined through experience and with more knowledge than before.

It has been a journey of accepting my true self which is a natural-born leader and teacher who lifts and inspires others with passion, enthusiasm and positivity. I love to write and my blog has been part of my journey. I love to sing and joining the ward choir and learning to sing bass has also been a significant step. Coaching high school girls volleyball renewed my love for volleyball which is a big part of me I was missing. Accepting and diving into my career as a dentist has also brought stability.

I am also a loyal lover who has a sensitive side with my feelings. My most recent relationship has helped me rediscover that side of my heart. I don’t need to try to hide my feelings or act like a jerk just because that’s what the world says helps you get the attractive woman. I don’t believe the saying “treat a girl like dirt and she will stick to you like glue”… I think that when the right one comes along I will treat her like a queen and she will recognize it and really appreciate it not want to let me go ever. She won’t shove me away because I am nice. At my core I am a nice guy and I believe that nice guys don’t really finish in last. I can selflessly love someone and all other girls will fade away.

My return home has also been a return to virtue. Virtue is power…I don’t have to let my hormones control my thoughts and actions. I can choose to control them and to bring more meaningful experiences to my life rather than random and fleeting encounters. I am so grateful to be on my way back home and find inner peace with myself and God’s plan for me.

I know that part of God’s plan for me is to be apart of a meaningful relationship and I have been able to take a step back lately and learn a ton about how that is supposed to work.

Another book I have been reading lately is called, “The Way of the Superior Man.” This book dives deep into gender roles in relationships. The “Superior” in the title means being the best man you can be…it is not meaning that a man is superior to a woman. Both the man and the woman are equal and neither is greater in God’s eyes (1 Cor 11:11).

I believe that a big reason why families and relationships are so broken these days is because Men and Women are mixing up gender roles in relationships creating disharmony. Men are becoming more feminine…skinny jeans, earrings, long hair are just the superficial manifestations. Women often become ultra independent, stomping on men and squashing them into a role that is completely submissive, where they don’t provide and protect. Society is shifting backwards when it comes to gender and many people are left confused.

Don’t get me wrong I think that some of the advances of society are good…it makes woman much more dynamic and it helps men connect to a woman’s heart by exploring his feminine. Both partners should be able to assume their feminine or masculine sides in order to connect better with their partner, but still not lose sight of their true role at their core.

For me in my life there has never been confusion. I have always considered myself a man’s man…and I am attracted to the ultra feminine types… but even then there is so much to learn. I want to be the best man I can be.

Again I can’t share even 1/100 of what I have learned from the book but I can give you an idea. A “superior man” is someone who stays connected to his deepest sense of self and his deepest purpose at all times, regardless of what the woman does. A woman should feel that by getting to know her man she is coming closer to God at the same time. When she feels your heart she wants to feel the heart of God.

She should feel the peace and safety and stability of the divine within her man. BUT a woman will not feel that if the man is in conflict with himself or doesn’t know his purpose. A woman will also become confused if the man becomes swallowed up in her to the point that he loses his sense of self. As a man the woman should be a source of light and inspiration to help you accomplish your deepest purpose through God. As a man you should not make the woman the most important thing or the only thing in your life.

A woman’s heart and feelings are like an ocean and they can’t be confined in a box or in sentences… Their world is one of abundance and love and for them it is all about feeling. Life is a dance or a song or painting a beautiful picture to them. They are very much connected to the world and spirit around them and this gives them their intuition. They know when something is off. As a man you must appreciate this power of the woman but not let it tell you what to do. It will keep you in check in the moment but you can’t try to analyze or dissect it because its far too complicated for that. Women are not really meant to be understood only to be loved. They are meant to be embraced as they are and not meant to be fixed.

It is important not to get swallowed up in these emotions so much that you lose stability. No woman wants an ultra emotional man. They don’t want to be smothered. A woman wants a man who will continue giving his gift with or without her. You must be able to come into the woman and share in her world…feel with her and appreciate it for what it is but then go right back to giving your gift of creation and deep purpose connected to God. A man will then be able to guide the relationship with the trust of his woman in love.

In my most recent relationSHIP looking back now I think a big reason it didn’t work out was because of mixed gender roles. I could have done so much more as a “superior man” to stay connected to my partner without losing myself in an emotional roller coaster. This is very difficult to do when your heart is invested and you care so deeply about someone. She was a single Mom and so she has had to be a Father and a Mother for her little boy for a long time. It was a very scary thing for her to give up that masculine in her and fully embrace the feminine in the relationship. In many ways I could not be the man I wanted to in the relationship because she would not let me. But maybe if she would not have felt any conflict in me at the beginning or more of a connection to God through me she would have been able to let me guide the relationship and to trust me.

The most important lesson I have learned from all of this however is that no one can have pure joy in their relationship with self or a romantic partner unless that person puts full trust in God. When you begin a journey in a new relationship it is wise to rely on the Savior Jesus Christ. He will guide us in life and love and allow us to find joy in fulfilling our deepest purpose while sharing our hearts with the person we love. He has shown us the way and only He can safely navigate our ship through the waves wind and storms that make up this-worldly experience. Without him we are lost at sea, we will be tossed every which way with no real course and we could end up at the bottom of the ocean.

I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to learn these deep lessons over the last little while. I know that as I continue to learn and grow only good things will come into my life. I know my final destination and that is to return home to live with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the people I love forever. When I get married it will be forever. It won’t be the end…It will simply be a decision to get on a ship with someone who chooses to be guided by the same captain, Jesus Christ and who wants to end up at the same place. He created the earth and is the one who calmed the raging sea. If we let him into our hearts and into our relationship I know he will show us the way back home.

ETERNAL PROGRESSION

Posted by Kent on October 15, 2012

Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: Christianity, Eternity, happiness, kent tuttle, LDS, Love, Marriage, Mitt Romney, progression, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 4 comments

FOREVER. ETERNITY. EVERLASTING. INFINITE.

These are heavy words we throw around lightly sometimes especially in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In a recent conversation with someone not of my faith I said that because of Christ we will “live forever.” The girl I was talking to stopped me abruptly and said…whoa whoa whoa that’s something I just can’t wrap my head around…FOREVER!? It surprised me that she would dwell on the word until I thought about it, she was right, it is wild to even try to think that we will exist forever!

As crazy as the idea might seem it is true, because Jesus lived, died on the cross and then rose three days later to conquer death, the entire human family will live FOREVER!!! 1 Cor 15:22 “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.”

Before coming to this earth we lived with God and Jesus Christ and we were good spirits. We chose to follow Jesus Christ and his plan to come to earth and get a body and PROGRESS. We are all born inherently as good people. The purpose of life then is for good men to become better!!! If for some reason we have turned bad then there is always a way back to becoming good. But we can’t stop there…and God doesn’t want us to either…he wants good men to always become better!

PROGRESSION is not always easy. We are often content with staying just the way we are. We are afraid and stubborn and CHANGE for the better is difficult. Especially as we get older and set in our ways, we feel we can get by with doing things the same way we have done them for years.

We would do well to embrace the principle of PROGRESSION and not to resist it because it is God’s way of doing things and it will lead us to happiness and to him. Like an earthly Father who wants to see their crawling son walk and their walking son run…our Heavenly Father sees us in all our potential and wants us to progress.

Does that mean that he doesn’t love us the way we are? NO not in the least. He loves us more than we could ever imagine because we are his. He just sees us differently than we see ourselves. He sees us in our full potential. If the whole goal of life is simply to just live with God why did we ever leave? We had to come to earth so that we could become like God. This is the potential he sees in us…to become as he is.

In order to reach our full potential Jesus Christ volunteered to sacrifice himself. Christ doesn’t just cleanse us from sin but he gives us power to become our best selves and live up to our full potential, to become perfect like him and to become like our Heavenly Father. This is called the “ennobling power of Christ” and I feel like Ether 12:27 best describes it,

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

Christ has power to change things that we think are impossible to change. Do we really believe this? When we fold our arms defiantly and say that this is just the way we are, that we don’t want to change and that we were just “born this way “we are denying the very miracle of Jesus Christ. When we resist change for the better we are shutting Christ out of our lives. We think we will be fine staying right where we are but we are deceiving ourselves.

Our spirits were divinely programmed to want to progress and if we aren’t progressing its impossible to be happy. We don’t find happiness in erasing Gods high expectations. We find happiness as we seek God’s help through the Savior to meet those high expectations.

No matter how many times we fail we need to find the resolve to try again…to believe in the power of miracles and change that one day you will break through. Often it seems as though our same weaknesses are exposed over and over and thrown in our face time and time again. We all have those sins or commandments or road blocks to progression that we hold on to. Should we get rid of any lofty goals or ideals then and give up? Never. The world really is black and white when it comes to this principle. Either we are progressing or we are not. There is only one destination after this life that will bring us eternal happiness and progression and that is living with God forever in the highest kingdom of heaven. For those who chose not to progress they will not want to live with God because they aren’t comfortable there. They are fine with staying the way they are. There will be a place reserved for these people as well but it will be a place where they are unable to progress. They aren’t comfortable with progression and hard things being thrown at them, so they stay the way they are…FOREVER!

If we are willing to accept PROGRESSION and use the power and love of the Savior to change in this life we will also get that opportunity in heaven. God will allow us to progress with a spouse and a family and to have spirit children of our own, possibly even create worlds and put our children on those worlds so that we can watch them become like us and have joy seeing them do that! Can you imagine that!? I want that happiness!!!

But this goal often seems all too far away. We are men and women with real human weakness and an idea like that seems ludicrous. People all around us are content with mediocrity. The philosophies of men are all around us… their words often appear well put together and wise.

They say things like, “I don’t need a religion to have a relationship with God…”, “The Mormon God just asks too much…(church 3 hours a week, 10 % tithing, missionary service, No coffee or tea?). My God doesn’t ask anything and I like this a lot better.” or lastly “You have your truth, I have my truth, we all must simply be true to our own truths.”

These ideas often get into the heads of members of the church even in lots of different ways. They see a God who is loving and forgiving but they don’t want a God who asks them to stretch themselves or sacrifice. What these people often fail to realize is that God is not a butler or a servant or even a therapist only there when we need him to make us feel better… just like our parents on earth He wants us to learn and grow and He requires our obedience, self-control, self-discipline and to make hard decisions and sacrifices. Ultimately He wants our time, our talents our possessions and even our very lives and hearts!!!

In Mosiah 7:33 God gives us a promise, “But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him in all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.” Whatever our personal “bondage” or source of unhappiness…it can be tossed aside through turning our whole lives to God. He has the power to do miracles, to change circumstances and to change us.

What we don’t see is that some of the worldly philosophies out there will damn up the way of eternal progression. They often encourage us to find happiness in focusing on ourselves or on letting go of any goals or expectations all together. There are people everywhere who want to change what God asks to meet their lifestyle instead of changing their lifestyle to meet what God asks. These people are at war with God. For example I saw this quote the other day and I thought it was the perfect example of a little bit of truth mixed with complete falsehood to seem appealing to our natures…

Life is not about getting tossed here and there with any or every opportunity that presents itself…We have prophets and apostles today who are far wiser than any philosopher who has ever lived because their knowledge comes straight from God. They have shown us that through the Savior there is a clear path and direction to happiness and that we should make our goals centered on that path.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from an apostle of the Lord, “One’s life cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free. Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, ‘Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!’ Real faith is required to endure this necessary but painful developmental process.”

-Neal A. Maxwell

We know that the road will get hard and we will fail. But we can press forward towards those goals with confidence because of the power and love of the Savior to pick us up again. We shouldn’t give up and throw away goals and plans and ideals because they are hard or seem out of reach. We simply need to put one foot in front of the other and enjoy this life’s journey of progression one day at a time.

I love to climb mountains. My favorite hike in the world is the mountain pictured above at Half Dome in Yosemite. I not only find satisfaction at the top of a mountain which comes from the sense of accomplishment in setting a goal and achieving it… but I also find joy in the views along the way. We can’t get so caught up in getting to the top that we forget to stop and notice the beauty around us…the company of those hiking with us, the flowers, the streams, the trees, the animals…etc. We know that if we slip and fall or if we stop and give up that we have our big Brother there to encourage us to press on…at times he may even put us on his back and carry us if he has to. He is there to help if we will let him. What a comfort that is!!!

None of us will reach the top of the progression mountain in this life…or ever…that is why we talk about FOREVER or ETERNITY. We are all simply striving to get to that next checkpoint… Whatever it may be we must not give up and keep our goals and the savior ever-present on our minds. We will find happiness as we choose to progress and move forward. No one wants to drink from stagnant waters. Bacteria, bugs and diseases accumulate in this kind of water. I would rather drink from the stream of running water. It is constantly being refreshed and it is clean and pure. Life happens fast and it is constantly pulling us in many directions. Lets all remember to constantly be progressing and growing and running!!!

Mosiah 4:27 Says that “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength…” but it doesn’t ever say that a man should stop running altogether. We need to be patient with ourselves and take enough time to enjoy the journey but we should always be progressing onward and upward.

In my life right now this principle of progression has hit me especially hard. Dental school is very challenging and I am a mere infant when it come sot my knowledge of dentistry compared to what is out there. There are days when it all seems overwhelming and I want to give up or I even question my career choice altogether. What I have to remember is that I just need to be continuing to learn at a steady pace and that gradually I will go from being an infant to a child and then to a teenager and adult when it come sot dentistry. There is no need to freak out. Even after graduation from school I will not have “made it.” I will need a mentor and higher training to become proficient in all of the skills. Even my dad who is 50 and has been practicing over 25 years still needs to go to seminars and take continuing education courses. My journey in dentistry is thus a microcosm of life…i will be ever learning and progressing. This picture (below) might be me at 55!?

Another aspect of life that requires constant progression is within relationships that we chose to involve ourselves in…Whether it is dating or a friendship or marriage. If the relationship is progressing towards a future and both people are invested and committed 100 % to each other and to the gospel then this will most likely be a healthy relationship. It will not be free of hardship or trials or stress but both people will be happy because they will be moving forward in trust and honesty and communication. But if the relationship for some reason becomes stagnant or if either person begins to feel trapped or unable to move forward and become a better person then that relationship should be let go. It does more damage than good to hold onto and continue to invest time and emotion and passion into something that simply is not progressing. It gets especially hard when emotions and feelings of love and caring are involved. Letting go is often the hardest thing to do.

Lastly I want to talk about progression in the commandments. None of us are perfect yet we are commanded to be perfect (Mat 5:48). None of us are living the commandments 100 percent of the time. Sure we can be 100 % perfect in our tithing or fasting every fast sunday but where is our heart? Is our heart completely humble and broken before God as we make these sacrifices? When the Lord commanded us to not even to look upon a woman to lust after her or we have committed adultery in our hearts (Mat 5:28) do we believe that is even possible?

I will be the first to admit that there are certain weak areas in my life (such as the former) that I have been content with leaving them the way they are for quite some time. I’m a good a person I tell myself even if I commit these same errors from time to time. I tell myself “I was born that way” so that a specific commandment is harder for me to live and I shy away from doing the hard thing. I tell myself well I have failed over and over and I just can’t be perfect so I might as well just give up…God loves me the way I am even with this weakness right?

Right. God loves us no matter what and the Savior and his Atonement is ever available to me but he wants me to keep trying…to continue climbing my personal mountains and to buy into his eternal principle of progression.My Dad often comments about how his group of High priests who are all older men often discuss their continuing struggle with keeping pure thoughts or having to struggle to change the channel from an indecent program or things like that. Old men who still struggle with the same struggle I have? Surely the Lord meant for progression to last a lifetime.

The Lord looks on us crawling in certain commandments and would rather see us running and jumping, soaring to new heights. Does that mean he is judging us for where we are at? NO!!! Often we mistake a righteous desire or expectation or goal as a judgment…It is not that at all but an expression of love to be better. We need not get mad at those around us who would encourage us to be better. We shouldn’t chase these people out of our lives. We should appreciate their willingness to push us to be better.

I love the Lord and his principle of eternal progression and I recommit myself today to strive for change and improvement in all areas of my life. Let us all accept this principle of progression and turn to our Savior who will show us the more excellent way.

Making a Paradigm Shift

Posted by Kent on October 8, 2012

Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: kent tuttle, LDS, Mind Control, Mitt Romney, Mormons, Paradigm Shift. 4 comments

My mind right now feels a little heavy and so I sit down to write once again. General conference, dental school and life in general have my head spinning on idea overload. It usually is that way all the time, but more so when I feel a post coming on. I am by nature what people like to call “a scatter brain.” The time I take to sit down and write is actually therapy for my mind. It is my time where I can link all the crazy ideas in my head in some sort of logical coherence. I started blogging a year ago and little did I know that my blog would turn into what it is now (22 posts later!)…Although I am starting to get some good traffic I am not making money off of the blog and I never will. The purpose of my blog is to inspire others with the inspiration that I myself have received. It is a small way that I like to lift and help those around me. I focus on the gospel and lessons I have learned about truth. I talk in ideals because I am a dreamer but please realize that I am a piece of work. I don’t have all the answers and often I find it hard to live up to what I put down on paper. So before I dive into the topic I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who reads and for those that take the time to send me notes of appreciation and support. We are all in this together. Hearing from you gives me more motivation to keep writing!

Some of you may be asking yourselves right now…what in the world is a paradigm shift? Before I go any further I want to define this term clearly.

In 1962, Thomas Kuhn wrote “The Structure of Scientific Revolution”, and fathered, defined and popularized the concept of “paradigm shift” . Kuhn argues that scientific advancement is not evolutionary, but rather is a “series of peaceful interludes punctuated by intellectually violent revolutions”, and in those revolutions “one conceptual world view is replaced by another”.

We can think of a paradigm shift then as a change from one way of thinking to another. It doesn’t always have to be related to the context of science. It is a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It does not just happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change. In a way it is going against the grain or normal perceptions whether for good or bad.

The mind is a powerful control center that is often underestimated. After doing something regrettable we often question ourselves and how we got to that point. As we trace back our thought process it all goes back to a single initial thought in our head.

From the words of Cobb, the dream manipulator portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio in the film Inception…

“What’s the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules.”

The hardest task in life is to learn to master our own minds. If we can master our thoughts then our words and actions and decisions will follow and we will be in control.From the poem “Invictus,” we will be the masters of our fate and captains of our soul. Our lives will be in peace and harmony and our mind will be at subtle peace as everything will be in harmony.

We run into problems in life when we let our minds run haywire on us. Our actions will then also be all over the place and we will have lost total control of our lives. We will be like a tiny fall leaf that falls off a tree in the midst of a storm…we’ll be tossed here and there not knowing where exactly we will end up.

Training of the mind is the most difficult kind. Jedi mind control is what gave Luke and Darth Vader power in the old movie series “Star Wars.” But mind control is not just for science fiction and movies, it is a very real thing accessible to all of us in the here and now.

We are divine children of a Heavenly Father who loves us. He is the creator of the mind and therefore can teach us how to harness its power for good. Id like to compare our mind to the internet. We can use the internet for good or for bad. If we harness its power for our benefit it can be a huge source of light and knowledge. Anything and everything is at our fingertips on the web… Just as anything and everything is possible in the mind. We think it and it is created in our minds, we google it and it pos up on the screen!! Just as we need to make sure what we are choosing to do on the web is good and positive we need to make sure what we are choosing to put in our minds is positive and good. Easier said than done.

Mind control takes a lifetime of repeated efforts and refinement. When we are in control of our mind we are in control of our lives. We will think something and it will happen. Success will find us as desired outcomes become realities.

So where do we start our paradigm shift? How can we possibly begin a task so great as learning to conquer our own minds? The answer I believe lies in our own self perception. How we see ourselves affects all other areas of our lives for the negative or positive so we might as well start there.

I was first introduced to the term paradigm shift when I played volleyball at BYU from my coach Shawn Patchell. He was an English professor at BYU on top of coaching and would often hit us players with philosophy to try to inspire us and get us to think outside the box. He wanted us to see ourselves as champions…to think and therefore act, practice and play like champions.

I had to go through my own personal paradigm shift as apart of the BYU volleyball program. I came onto the volleyball team as a walk on and a three sport athlete in high school. I never played club volleyball. Most all of my teammates played only volleyball their whole lives and their games were much more polished skill wise. I was kind of a dark horse athlete with a ton of potential but more of a piece of work when it came to volleyball. I played setter in high school then when I red-shirted in 2004 as a freshmen BYU moved me to the outside hitter position.

After my mission I quit to pursue basketball…but an ankle fracture one day before tryouts left my basketball dream shattered. Miraculously the assistant volleyball coach saw me playing intramural volleyball a short time later and asked me to go back on the volleyball team. I was scared because of my lack of experience and wasn’t too confident in my abilities. On top of that he wanted me to play opposite hitter, a new position that i wasn’t familiar with.

So I had a decision to make. Should I go back on the team and try to discover my untapped potential as a volleyball player?

I needed to make a decision to go through my own paradigm shift and have a personal revolution… to believe in myself as a volleyball player. Instead of letting my lack of experience get me down I focused my thoughts on what I wanted to become. I knew my past experience in other sports could only help me become the best volleyball player I could be. I used my work ethic with weights and conditioning in other sports and channeled that into obtaining a higher vertical leap. I studied film of volleyball players and spent countless hours in the gym working on my skills. I took up beach volleyball in the offseason to further increase my skill level, ball control and conditioning. Long story short, after being away from volleyball for 3 whole years (mission plus one year after)…I was able to travel with the team that same year, earn a scholarship later on and develop into a team captain and starter at the opposite position. What if I would not have decided to make a paradigm shift in my head and believe in myself as a volleyball player? I don’t think I would have had much of a career at all. What I chose to believe about myself made all the difference.

Self perception really is everything… We need to decide what it is that we want to become and then align our thoughts and actions with that view we have of ourselves. The world and the critics around us will try to shove us into categories or confine us by how they see us…we can’t let that stop us from exercising our power to control our own destiny, to become what we want to become.

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”—Teilhard de Chardin

Emphasizing the fact that we are spiritual beings should bring us a sense of empowerment. Our circumstances will always be changing around us. We can’t control that no matter how hard we try. It would be like trying to control the weather= impossible. We also can’t control are decisions by other human beings that affect us negatively. We have the power within us to rise above it all and become who we want to become regardless of what goes on around us, because our power and strength comes from within, it comes from the mind. We can choose to be happy. The way we react says a lot about our character and our level of mind control.

President David O. McKay once said: “Spirituality is the consciousness of victory over self, and of communion with the Infinite.”

When we realize our divine nature as children of our Heavenly Father we are blessed with direction. We need to be careful and align our thoughts with our father so that our lives can be matched up with his will.

Right now I am going through another paradigm shift that has to do with my current life situation. I am 27 years old, not married, Mormon and in dental school living in AZ. I go to school for 8 hours a day and I am acquiring huge amounts of debt. I often feel trapped in school and that my future dreams won’t ever come true. I want so badly to be settled down in my own home with a wife and to be a Father. I cannot afford to be unhappy with my current situation just because some of my dreams are taking more time to be fulfilled. I must look at myself and my current situation as a blessing and make the most of it. I have to realize that everything has its time. I need to let go of any worry, fear or doubt about the future and to simply go forward with patience and confidence that all my dreams will be realized at some point. I need not to worry when things don’t go as planned. I need to accept my situation and find happiness in the day-to-day. I can’t worry so much about forcing things to happen when I want them to…I have to let them come in the appropriate time.

Thus my paradigm shift is to change the way I see myself once again. I am not a failure because I am not married and not making money quite yet. I am in contrast, confident in myself and my situation and in my preparation for the future. I can use the power of my mind to stay positive and to prepare each day for what is ahead.

I went to LA last weekend and the road trip was complete therapy. There is something relaxing and mind settling about a long drive. I stayed at my good friend Marcus’ house who I met this summer. We spent time on the beach throwing a football, riding bikes, long boarding and eating good food. I had a long talk with him about my life right now and he really helped me see that I can’t afford to get frustrated or upset at circumstances. He kind of has a hippy mentality without the dreads or guitar to show for it.

Marcus recently got his expensive road bike stolen from right outside his apartment. I asked him if he was upset and he said no…I was kinda surprised…but then he just looked at me smiling and said, “well that sucks but I guess maybe he needed that bike more than me…” It takes a strong man with a powerful mind to be able to react that way to a situation like that.

I was reminded during that short weekend in LA that I must keep my feet on the ground and enjoy each day as if it was my last. The simple things in life are often the most rewarding. We made lasting memories and had long talks ill never forget. Really that is what life is all about. If we all took a little more time to slow down just for a minute and regain control of our minds we would be much better off. I believe I started a paradigm shift on that LA trip that I would like to continue in change… to be confident and patient in my situation, enjoy each day as if it was my last and to attempt to control only what I can control: My mind!!!

Lets all make the paradigm shifts we need to make in order to be at peace with ourselves and in harmony with our life circumstances and our Heavenly Father.

A Man of Faith

Posted by Kent on September 24, 2012

Posted in: Uncategorized. 7 comments

I almost wrote this blog post this morning…but then I had a prompting to sit down to write at the end of the day. I somehow just knew that throughout the day I would receive answers and insight in the form of light and knowledge that would give me the confidence to write what I am about to write. Sure enough today at church every talk and every lesson pertained to what I am about to say. Not only that but after church I received a direct answer to prayers in the form of support from an unexpected source. I know my Heavenly Father is aware of my situation and He loves me dearly.

I have always considered myself a man of faith. I have attended church since my infancy and I dedicated two years of my life to serve a church mission in Ecuador. I attended a church school for my undergraduate education, Brigham Young University. I have always attended church and institute classes and I like to think of myself as having stayed “in the mainstream of the church.” I have never given up on the church altogether and I know I would be lost without it…yet faith in one aspect of my life has been missing. Faith is the first principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ and yet few of us church going people really live it. When times are easy sure we can do it no problem, but in the moments when our heart and worst fears are on the line we often shrink.

I am a very competitive person and I have always followed a simple formula for success. Dream big + Hard work and dedication = success. I feel like I have found success in many areas of my life. School and athletics are two examples. I’m only in my second year of dental school but in a way I feel as though I have made it. I am into my career and as long as I don’t have some freak accident hand injury I should be able to practice dentistry throughout my life time. I followed the formula and it worked…dream big + hard work and dedication = success. I decided not to quit when it got rough, I exerted more effort and it paid off. My career in athletics was the same…sheer determination, training and sustained effort over a long period of time led me to experiences with D1 BYU volleyball and then later professional Basketball.

Yet there is one area of my life where this formula has failed miserably… in my dating relationships. I have struggled because my formula here does not apply. The reason why dream big + hard work and dedication DOES NOT always equal success with relationships is because there are three sides of the equation. Thus it becomes a complex 3-dimensional structure that must come together just right. Not only do you have to be doing your part, but you have to wisely choose someone who is doing their part as well. Sometimes, even when both people are giving their best effort and want to be together the formula just doesn’t work. Heavenly Father and his timing must smile upon the relationship in order for it to work out. SO the three dimensions are you, your partner and Heavenly Father and His timing. Anytime two worthy people get married in the temple I feel like it is a miracle and of a divine crafting. There are so many variables that have to come together at just the right time.

Many of us singles claim we have faith and that we are disciples of Jesus Christ. Yet how do we react when our dating relationships continue to fail? Do we become anxious, bitter, depressed and faithless? Do we throw ourselves a pity party and put ourselves in a jail cell of doom and gloom? How do we choose to respond?

I am as just as guilty as any of you are. After my mission to Ecuador I got home on a mission to find a wife and start a family. I knew this would bring me the greatest joy and happiness in my life and allow me to progress. What I didn’t realize is that I did not have full control over when this blessing would happen and that it would drive me nuts!

I dated seriously for years at BYU in hopes of joining the happily married before I went off to school but one of the three parts kept malfunctioning. What if I ended up accepted only to a dental school in the middle of nowhere!? What then of my marriage possibilities? Everyone although they don’t admit it, thinks this way at one point or another.

Most often I must admit it was my side of the equation that was out of whack. I had plenty of options but I was picky and afraid to commit. I got discouraged because I dated and dated and nothing was working. My friends and even my younger sister were all getting married all around me but here I was still alone. I lost faith in my Heavenly Father and his promises that if I was righteously doing all that I could that eventually he would bless me with a wife and family. I wasn’t patient. I thought, I am worthy and doing all that I can do so why does the blessing not come now? I became discouraged and bitter.

There was one relationship in particular where I was ready and I committed 110 percent. I finally felt ready and that the timing was right. I put my whole heart into it but this time I wasn’t the problem. It was a problem with who I had fallen in love with, she wasn’t emotionally available to be in a relationship with me. The relationship failed miserably and my world was shattered. In this moment unfortunately I did not respond as a man of faith. With a lot of other outside stress on my plate I lost hope in dating all together and decided to just focus on myself and have fun. My standard of girls I decided to date slipped and I purposely dated girls I knew it wouldn’t work out with in order to protect my heart from feeling broken again.

Since then I have moved away from the dating Mecca of the world in Provo and have slowed my social life down quite a bit. I feel like I have healed and I have made huge strides as far as being personally ready for a temple marriage. I rewired my heart for love and to be ready to find someone who I could put my whole heart into. I declared to the world my readiness to find a wife and settle down with the Mormon Bachelor. I was blessed immediately at that time to fall in love with a beautiful woman who has a beautiful heart and who I care deeply about. Yet once again the perfect 3-D structure has failed to come together just right at this time. For whatever combination of reasons whether me, her or God’s timing it just hasn’t worked out as planned.

At this moment I have a choice…I can decide to do what I have done once before and become bitter and discouraged and give up hope or I can choose to be a man of faith. I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me but I do know that I will waste no time in trying to put extra effort and exhaustion into something that does not seem to be working right now. I can’t force anything, especially love. I also have no control over the agency of another person and how they choose to act.

As I reflect on where I am at right now I feel as though the Lord is giving me a second chance to respond with faith towards my dating situation at a time when it is extremely difficult to do so. When the world comes crashing down and you are staring at heartbreak and loneliness in the face and all your worst fears seem to be coming true is the very moment God expects us to rise up and have faith. By doing so you prove to yourself and to God that you are strong and that you can be trusted no matter how difficult the circumstance.

Success in dating and relationships should not be defined by simply joining the married ranks. After all, 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. Success in dating and relationships should be measured through faith, patience, selflessness, charity, and by how well we listen to the spirit of the Lord. I believe whole heartedly that the Lord guides us in our relationships through the spirit if we are to STOP…(RED LIGHT), SLOW DOWN (YELLOW LIGHT), or GO FOR IT (GREEN LIGHT).

If we listen to the promptings the Lord will turn any situation into a positive if we let him. No today does not always mean no tomorrow. We never know what the future will hold. Some people break up and get back together when the timing is right. Some people unexpectedly meet someone new as time passes by…Only God knows the end from the beginning and one day we will look back and it will all make sense.

What we know now is that his promises are endless and WILL come true if we are faithful. We must stay close by his side and trust that He knows whats best for us. He will perform a miracle in our lives when the time is right and when both people are willing and ready for that miracle to occur.

So how do I respond now as a man of faith? I must choose to progress with my head held high…To look towards the future with optimism with whoever and whatever it may hold. I must find an inner peace and confidence in who I am and what I stand for. I must choose to not worry about what I can’t control and trust that God is in control.

I will never lose hold of my dreams and I will never stop putting forth hard work and effort into my relationships and dating…but part of being a man of faith is to calmly and confidently trust in God and that his promises will eventually be fulfilled. To trust that he can and WILL perform a miracle if I continue faithful. I must live my religion and be the man of faith that I say I am. I can’t just “check my religion at the door” as Elder Holland says when the going gets tough. I must be a follower of Christ at all times and in all places and in all things. After all this is what we made promises to do at baptism. Mosiah 18:9 states …”to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places that ye may be in even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.”

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